Bad Movie and drink pairing: Double Dragon (iron chef edition)

Posted on Updated on one was such a stinker that I completely forgot it existed.

This would be one of those prime examples of why video games should never be made into movies (in fact it is the lowest ranked video game adaptation as of now). I will not lump Street Fighter into this pile of awfulness as Raul Julia was fantastically over the top, and they knew it was a silly camp movie and did not try for anything better.

Double Dragon makes the mistake of taking itself seriously. And lacks the bad techno soundtrack of Mortal Kombat.

So where to start? In an alternate time line LA has gone to hell, I mean really, really gone to tell. Like Detroit pre Delta city bad, but not Escape from LA bad… well maybe it is that bad, it is a close call.

Chairman Kaga’s nephew and his adopted brother have to battle the evil Guy Fieri. But in this time line Guy took up martial arts over eating. He is as addicted to bleaching as ever though.

I am not kidding take a gander…

Alisa Milano is also there in a wig and some weird outfit, no Arnie though. Seriously having a Zombie Bennett show up would have been a welcome change of pace.

Wow even Vernon Wells is agaisnt the idea..  Sorry..

So the whole thing comes to a head and they end up at kitchen stadium to see who’s karate cuisine will reign supreme. Andy Dick fills in for Alton Brown as the talking head. Why Dan Cortez is not in this I will never know. He was in just about every other MTV generation film.

So they combine their medals and somehow get a full medal each.. they also get snazzy matching costumes. There may or may not have been a roundhouse kick involved.

What to drink with this movie? How about a few Ghost Face Killah chili beers? It looks like it ranks as high as this movie so it seems fitting giving that and the possible martial arts tie-in.


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