I liked the first Beastmaster. For what it was it as good, a great one of movie – OK the whole circle of life ending was eh, but still it was enjoyable in a swords and sandals fun way. I have seen it more than once and it holds up.
But……. A decade or so later, they decide to send our hero off to LA. No not the Highlander, which did the same thing around the same time, is Hollywood really that strapped for ideas?
So anyways, 5 year after what many people have called the worst sequel ever filmed, they figured eh why not? Lets try this one again as a made for TV movie with even less of a budget (mostly spend on Jan Hammer’s score I imagine). Why would I bother with part 2. Why not just forget it happened (seemingly like the writers did) and jump right into part III.
To be fair Hercules and Zena were in their prime and Bruce Campbell could do no wrong on either show. But those were intentionally funny right? At least I hope they were? They did actually make a TV series, whether or not it was on the W.B. I cannot say.
So Dar, who now oddly looks like a muscled up Peter Weller or just a tiny version of Conan?. Seriously though, look at that photo its Peter Weller’s face, like they lifted it from a RoboCop screen grab. It might only be slightly weirder if they used Fabio instead. but his Butter gig was going full force back then. Plus Nintendo had him a busy.
So, Dar is traveling around with his new pal Seth (Tony Todd of N.O.T.L.D. 90, Candy Man, the Rock & 24 fame) and his ferrets and lion (following in the path of a panther / tiger painted black, and a non painted tiger respectively).
This begs the question who would you rather as your travel companion. John Amos (arguably somewhat out of his jacked to all heavens physique) or Tony Todd in his prime. Both are pretty bad ass yes, but John’s got the humor angle nailed down tight. Or would you rather just a goat or maybe an ill tempered hippo? This is Beastmaster after all.
They have to save Dar’s brother (not the brother from Part 2 either, is other brother) from an evil wizard who uses human sacrifices to grant him eternal youth and to free his leader Braxus from his magical holding cell.. The rest of the plot sort of fills itself in from there. Not sure if I would call it better or worse than the time Macgyver got a knock on the head and ended up in King Arthurs Court.. It is pretty close.
For our drink this time I did try to find a lion or ferret beer to go with this, but the choices are lacking. that i could find at least, if you guys can think of one drop me a line.
Now if we were still talking about #2 we had plenty of tiger things to work with. So I am going with ill tempered animals. New Jersey’s own: Bolero Snort Ragin’ Bull Amber Lager. After Running around with your animal squad mates and all that sword tossing in the intro you need something crisp and refreshing.